My conversation with God on a bad day…

Sometimes I just wish that you gave a list 

A manual 

For how to do all of this.

 

But then I remember that isn’t your nature.

Rules are a human way of trying to right our wrongs.

 

Not You.

You set an example.

You tell stories- visual and vivid, complete with nitty gritty details no matter how terrible it would seem to our “innocent” ears.

You show how to live instead of explaining.

You don’t draw diagrams. You paint pictures.

 

I don’t know if it’s because you just love diversity, but you seem to love that that there is more than one way to live this thing out. Somehow through the winding trails weaving in and around valleys, mountaintops, forests and deserts You see the clearest way for each of us. But the real kicker for me is how much joy You take from leading me through it. 

 

If I had the manual, I wouldn’t need Your hand.

If I had the list of rules and regulations I wouldn’t need Your still, small voice. 

Man, what I would be missing…

 

It’s about relationship to You. 

You WANT to lead me.

You want to tug on my arm when I start to wander. 

Instead of a field of land mines awaiting my misstep You give Yourself to lead and guide.

 
Reminds me of a song…
Standing in the midst of storms I cannot understand.
Searching in the darkness for your old, familiar hand.
Instead of rushing in to rescue me and calm my fears,
You say, “Trust me.”
 
Fighting just to overcome the anger in my soul
Hoping all who see me can’t see my lack of control
Waiting for Your light to push the shadows far from me,
You say, “Trust me.”
 
Hiding starts to become my way to escape my fears.
Forcing me to question all I’ve clung to all these years.
But when the questions try to pull me from Your loving arms,
You say, “Trust me.”
 
All my stubborn will is telling me to just give in.
With all of this opposition, can I stand to win?
But You, with all Your certainty, remind me who You are,
and You say, “Trust me.”
 
You say that rescue never comes the way it did before.
You tell me that Your love will not let go.
And I’m reminded there are things that I may never know.
But all that I have known has been my home…
 
Not around, But through.
Not for me, But for You.
This isn’t all for nothing.
Not above, but beside.
Not a map, but a guide.
This is all for something greater.
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